2:38 p.m. - 2004-06-25
widyaz
WIDYAZ!
Currently listening to: Slither, Velvet Revolver
So, I really don't know what to make of this journal.
Let's start with the easy part - the layout. I like it. Your explanation for it was simple, and the background does remind me of a pool on a summer day. So, that's good.
As for your content...
First of all, the subject of The Asshole comes up a lot, and while my situation wasn't as volatile as yours, I went through something similar. I know what it's like to finally be free of an abusive relationship, to be able to do things on your own and love every second of it. I'm glad you got out of it, I'm glad you haven't talked to him in 2 years.
The way I feel about your diary is perfectly summed up in a quote I found in it:
"At our best we are intelligent, independent, confident, adept at everything we do,and adventurous, always pushing new frontiers. At our worst, we are snobbish, opinionated and supercilious, on top of all the above, of course."
You KNOW you are intelligent, independent, confident, and adept at everything you do. This comes through in your writing, trust me. Your entries are SOOO LONG, and I don't know what you're smoking when you say you "daylog too much." From what I saw, you NEVER daylog.. you pull random events from your past and explain the living hell out of them until every single part of every single piece is explained in total detail. It's that, or it's an impassioned rant on whatever it is you're thinking about that day.
There's even long, detailed entries about rain. Rain! I love rain bunches, but I don't know if I want a whole entry about it.
Not to mention the elephant. I didn't get all the way through that one, I must admit.
Sometimes I just wanted to say "ENOUGH ALREADY!" We get that you're smart. We get that you know big words and you like to write and that you're good at writing. So, maybe ease up a bit. Stop using the big words when a small one might fit better. Stop trying to overdramatize everything and put it in SIMPLE TERMS! Maybe that's not who you are, and if it's not, fine. Disregard. It's just what I feel about it.
This situation boggled my mind. Your boyfriend, after 2 months together, goes on a trip for 3 weeks to see his ex and really makes a half-ass effort to contact you at all? I can see why you'd be upset about that, I really can, but I don't understand why you'd welcome him back into your life after that. For just 2 months, it hardly seems worth all the angst, frustration and depression you put up with for that move.
Just my two cents. You are a good writer, but you gave me much tired head after a while. You don't have to tell us EVERYTHING. My creative writing teacher was a big fan of "Show, don't tell," and you are definitely not showing us.
I give you an eraser so you can do some editing.
